It's funny you know, how life can change so much in one year without you even realizing it, in only 365 days, life can become so different than what it used to be.
Only one year ago I was living a care free life with the people who mean the most to me. Since then, so much has happened. Everyone has jobs, John moved and no one has time for each other anymore. My 17th birthday just went by, and even though everyone said the usual Happy Birthday, no one really took time to talk to me, I spent my night doing homework alone, I felt so alone, I cried myself to sleep that night.
I don't adapt to change well, and I think thats why this is so hard for me. Me and my best friend, of 12 years barely speak anymore and she lives right across the street, we used to spend everyday together... now we see each other 2 or 3 times a month. Working takes up a lot of time in my life now, everything that I want to do has to be planned around it.
I feel like half of my life has been stolen away from me, non-caring, non-worrying, spontaneous side of me that I never have time for anymore.
This is the other half of me writing, this is everything that has been going through my head lately. No one ever sees this side of me, not even John. I love him so much, him and his girlfriend broke up, but he told me tonight that he is starting to like one of my other friends, I don't think he'll ever see what is right in front of me, he told me I was like a sister to him, well, he's everything to me. A day doesn't go by that I don't ask God to show him, I guess it's just not meant to be.
Why do I tell everyone this? I can't tell it to my friends, I can't tell it to John... But I don't know any of you, they call it intimate strangers... I can tell you my life story and you don't even know who I am, so once you read this, you'll probably forget about me.
So this is my message to you, don't let your life slip away, hold it tight, because before you know it, you'll be just like me. |
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