To say that cutting is "SELFISHNESS PURE AND SIMPLE" is to ignore the complexity of the act of cutting and the psychological inspiration behind cutting.
Pure, it is not. It is a complex web of the darker parts of life, and especially of the darker emotions: hatred, anger, agression, often jealousy, desire. There is no purity in the drawing of blood, from any source.
Simple it is not. Along with that web of emotions, you have the reasons behing it, many of which Worker Bee mentioned. Foremost is self-loathing. There is no way anyone who does not hate themself could take a blade or flame to their skin and cause harm with no purpose other than to cause harm. There is also, for most, a sense of sacrifice. "If I punish myself then they will not have to, then they will not be hurt, then they will not be bad." "I can hide it from them, they won't need to know, they don't need to know how bad I am, and if I punish myself then I don't have to tell them, for it would hurt them." Are those thoughts selfish? I know from talking to my friends who do, as well as from personal experience, that most of the time, thoughts like those are running through the cutter's head as they take the blade to their skin. Tell me what makes those thoughts selfish.
Yes, part of it is selfishness: I want to do this, I like the sight of blood, I want the control. But that is not to say that all of it is selfish.
And for those of you who would abandon their friends in favor of their own issues, go ahead. You probably aren't a good friend for them anyway. A good friend is patient, and forgiving, and patient, and willing to go through the same mistake over and over and over again, encouraging betterment, but not requiring it. If that is not you, I am sorry that you are not a good friend. I hope you find someone to help you when you need it. |
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