Thread Topic: Please help me end a 4 yr relationship with a bpd woman
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tony
Joined: Sep 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-03 20:56:55 |
| I have given my all to this girl .Ive been loving supportive faithful etc. She recently met a guy at work and now has devalued me. I tried to give her space that she wanted by no contact her wish .About 8 days past when I received at least 15 phonecalls in one day . She was talking very sensual and I got reeled back.incredible sex etc. only to be pushed away again . Im hurting inside always feel betrayed and lied to yet I cant seeem to let go of her .I do love her very much. Friends tell me to let her have her new thing because it wont last but im hurting and cant deal with thinking of her with another guy. Please help me to get over this because I cant seem to get off the roller coaster | |
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Unanswered Thread: What do i DO? posted by Visirium 1 min. ago |
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elisafauzana
Joined: Aug 27, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-03 21:19:41 |
| your girl is doing exactly what i did to my husband. and my husband feeling exactly what u r feeling. the only thing differs is that, in our culture adultery is unacceptable. so my husband used that to threaten me to stay with him, or else i he will tell my parents, my siblings, my collegues to let everyone know of my misconduct. he also threaten to take away our 6 year old son and will tell him that "your mother was a slut, that's why i left her", when he grows up so that he won't forgive me or come to see me forever. i was scared to death that i decided to stay with him. BPD like us cannot decide who we want or what we want. i kept on changing decision that left my husband in confusion. finally with this threat, i am pinned down and numbed that i will never be able to change my decision forever.So my advise to u, Tony, find something about her that u can threaten her to pin her down. let her have no choice but to stay with u. believe me, i am glad my husband did that or else i will be wondering without knowing who i want or what i want and will be having unnecessary affairs when i already have such a good husband and son. | |
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navyairtech
Joined: Dec 19, '09
Status: New User |
2009-12-19 20:25:35 |
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I was married to my wife for 4 years. She cheated on me several times. I could count at least 10 ppl with names that she cheated on with that Im certain i wouldnt have given permission to have gone and had sex with. She has left me 3-4 times prior to the most recent one. Said she needed her space. She made friends mostly with guys and she met this guy one time, devalued me to everyone when i was brought up and finally left me. Always comes back generally after the other guy realizes that she is lazy, doesnt want to work and is b----y due to she is BPD and Bipolar combined.. basically once they realize what she is like... they toss her to the curb. I know she loves me although its hard to believe that she is in-love with me. We also have 4 children between us. Recently , she decided to fly to Wisconsin to meet up with a couple of friends that she had met online to become an escort.. she was there about a week and didnt want to do it anymore. so she was talking on the phone alot to some guy she called her 'best friend' that she often claimed 'I love you's' and 'baby' to so she took a bus away from this couple to Oklahoma. She just called me after being 'missing' for 2 days. she 'might' be back for new years eve... shes got 10 days to be bck by then. She is driving me nutzo. I love my wife SO DAMN MUCH, that i absolutely cant seem to just let her go. i dont want to let her so.. maybe im a glutton for punishment. But, this is someone who is the mother of my children... and she makes me sleep at night when i go to bed with her in my arms. I cannot think of anyone else like she is easy to sleep with other guys... I would really like her to back on meds, but she feels she should take them as a need to have basic.. How do i get her to realize that shes a posture child for BDP and needs to seek therapy. Heck, I would even take marriage councelling with her to help us work out our issues.. Any help that I could get would be appreciated. Thank you... Husband of BPDwife |
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Abbey
Joined: Dec 8, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-12-20 04:28:42 |
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We are difficult and it takes a strong person to deal W us, yet we are very lovable....weird. Is she getting consistant help? If she isnt, she mst. I agree W the second poster. Be blunt and tel her if she choses not to change/b faithful/compliant that you need to move on. I was just DEVASTATED by a broken relationship, but ya know what after 5 weeks of greiving and prayer, I found someome 10X better. Hope I helped. |
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Synapse
Joined: Oct 24, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-12-20 07:02:56 |
| If she cheated on you that many times, she doesn't have BPD. | |
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Delirius
Joined: Nov 3, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-12-20 10:55:31 |
| That's what I was thinking synapse | |
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blackbirdxx
Joined: Dec 23, '09
Status: New User |
2009-12-23 20:31:43 |
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Hi I understand what u are feeling. I have been in a relationship with a lady for the last 5 years. With all the push aways and pack & runs. She was diagnosed BPD by a doc in Canada about 18 mths ago. Bottom line. Ur BPD will only get help when they realise they have a problem and even then it’s not garrented. My BPD has sort help in Canada (where she was diagnosed). We live in australia. My BP went from "going back to Canada” for more therapy and needed a few days away to get her head together to waking up angry and not going to Canada the first morning away. To moving out. She is in denial “nothing wrong with me” with it all being my fault. She hates me, wants nothing to do with me and we are now enemies. Until ur wife wants to and gets help nothing will change. As to what u should do I have no advice. I am in the same boat as you. Google a site called the shack. Best site I have found yet. Google “the shack borderline”. It may help you to understand and help u make the decision you need to make. Good Luck |
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elisafauzana
Joined: Aug 27, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-12-23 21:25:58 |
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Hi blackbirdxx, thank you for introducing the shack. it's an awesome site for both borderliners n people around us to read.well explained. thnkx. |
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blackbirdxx
Joined: Dec 23, '09
Status: New User |
2009-12-24 12:05:09 |
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Hi elisafauzana Tis an awesome site. I have done extensive research on BPD. But most sites are clinical. This site explained to me what BPD really is. Helped me understand what my BP is going thru. It stopped me from blaming her for her actions. Im going to start a thread it may help BPDs and those close to them. cheers |
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Unanswered Thread: My results posted by lucky13 13 hours ago |
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