Thread Topic: Borderline - Cutting Yourself
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hopscotch
Joined: Sep 8, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-30 04:40:50 |
| twocents.. you seem like a really nice person :) good luck with this girl, hopefully she will appreciate it. | |
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Unanswered Thread: So many (bad) emotions posted by FadingLights 13 minutes ago |
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Twocents
Joined: Oct 30, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-30 05:09:53 |
| Thanks for the info much appreciated | |
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momnj
Joined: Oct 30, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-30 15:28:28 |
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mentalmama Email me..I am a mother of 2 boys.I still cut. email me..I think all of us "cutters" self mutilators can help eachother. If anyone needs to talk or vent..email me at [no emails] |
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alone
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-02 11:30:24 |
| cutting is a way to release stress. for cutters, like myself, it works just like crying or yelling, or drugs and alcohol work for other people. i usually cut when i feel overly stressed, when anyone is mad at me(my parents, siblings, FRIENDS, ext.), when i feel absolutely alone in the world(which is more often than not), and sometimes because i just can't help it, i just have this urge and i don't even think i just go and cut. I have NEVER been much of a cryer, so thats why i knew cutting would work for me.... but if you have methods of stress relief that seem to work fine now, i wouldn't start cutting because once you start cutting you keep cutting, it IS an addiction. | |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 11:41:45 |
| Alone you are so right. I do it to gain control and unfortunatly it is addictive. wish i cud stop. Its not as bad as it use to be but when im pushed over the limit with anger and stress then thats when i feel the need to do it. | |
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K8bpd
Joined: Oct 25, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-02 13:14:17 |
| Alone said it right...cutting is like crying to me. When i'm alone or angry or I'm having flashbacks of past traumas...the blade comes out. Sometimes I'm not even aware of my cuts because i've done it in a mental haze. My therapist says I dissociate...oh well I hope I can get better...but the truth is cutting is addicting and I kind of like it. | |
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alone
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-02 13:23:30 |
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stephie-i wish i could stop too, but it is very hard. K8bpd- i agree with you one hundred percent. i tend to cut in a mental haze also. i also kind of like cutting, i want to stop, but i like it, if that makes any sense at all. |
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hopscotch
Joined: Sep 8, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-03 00:50:12 |
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omg alone i know exactly how you feel, like the wanting to cut but not wanting to aswell. omg i had a great day on saturday after i had a haircut, i was happy the rest of the day. i went from really long hair to short emoish hair. i love it!! but unfortunately that only lasted a day, but changing your appearance really helps, i suggest you guys try it, just for a break from cutting sometime :) but then yesterday my stepdad was a complete douche so i started up cutting again, worse than before, but thats just because i was pissed off oh well s--- happens.. |
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alone
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-03 04:34:26 |
| hopscotch- i get what you mean by changing your appearance helps. i cut my hair a couple o f days ago and i had a reallyyyy good day. but yesterday i didn't feel good so i called my mom and asked to go home, she took me home but she was SCREAMING at me the whole time. theres a lot more to the story but i don tfeel like typing it. anyway she hit me yesterday for the third time in eight days. basically parents suck and treat their kids like s---. at least mine do anyway | |
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aliveandunwell
Joined: Oct 27, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-03 13:28:55 |
| alone i am so sorry for what happened with your mom. it happened to me all the time when i was younger and i wasnt allowed to cry while she was doing it or i got it worse. eventually i couldnt cry if i wanted to. it fu--ing sucks! i hope youre not sitting alone in your room taking it out on yourself, thats what i usually did. you didnt do anything wrong! im here if you would like to talk | |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-03 13:50:25 |
| im so sorry you two. I had more mental not pysical abuse but i guess you had both. I first started making myself sick then turned to cutting as i felt everything was my fault is a vicious circle i guess. Changing your appearance does give you a boost for a while then you forget it all cos of the events that have happened in the past and present.xx | |
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alone
Joined: Nov 2, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-04 16:31:55 |
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aliveandunwell- thanks you made me a lot better, but yes i WAS sitting in my room, alone, taking it out on myself. you guessed very good. i don't cry much i feel like i want to A LOT but the tears wont come out....strange right. but if i yell or threaten to tell someone, she hits more, i dont think thats very smart, b/c one day i will tell, ill do it w/out thinking, i do that WAY more than i should. Anyone else do stuff w/out thinking bout the consequences? stephie- i used to make myself throw up, i wasn't exactly bulimic b/c i didnt do everytime i ate, just when i felt REALLY emotional, now i cut, it works better. |
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Delirius
Joined: Nov 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-04 16:37:27 |
| I never think about the consequences before I act | |
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handfulandahalf
Joined: Oct 8, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-05 07:14:56 |
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It is so much easier to beat myself up then to hurt someone else. I can not stand to hurt other people. I have been entertaining the idea of cutting again, its exhilerating and sad at the same time. WHY ?!? I finally took my head to the doctor a week ago and found that my being a borderline is not quite enough to keep my head busy so I get to have a disorganized schizo keeping the borderline company ! Really ?? Am I just that lucky or . . . what well hopefully i will be done digesting this new tidbit soon. i feel like a royal freak right about now. |
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SucidalCat
Joined: Nov 6, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-06 21:26:28 |
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I'm a 15 year old, I've been cutting since about 11 when I came out to my parents as gay. My mother didn't take it well, and my dad is the only one who really understood and listened. That was the middle of 6th grade, in the end of 7th he was served with orders to Korea (Air Force), My brother, sister, and I would talk to him on our important day's like birthdays and Christmas while we lived with my grandparents. I was definately not allowed to be myself, not in the middle of the Bible-belt of Alabama... So I lived a lie. I met a wonderful girl, the love of my life. And when she asked me out, my heart skipped a beat. Since then my father has returned safely, though changed, nonetheless still my dad. We were whisked away to Colorado, away from my girlfriend, and into hell. My dad was verbally abusive, drank, and left the house on countless occasions. Worried, scared and helpless, cutting was rampant. So bad in fact, I've attempted sucide 4 times, once sent to the Childrens Hospital Phych Ward, there for 2 weeks and when I returned home, my brand-spanking new coping skills worked for about a day. Right back to hell. Here's the kicker, my grandparents adopted me as a baby, and decided that "home" was not safe, I moved back to Alabama, away from my family (who stopped talking to me) and back to my girlfriend. I can truly say I'm happy for once, though I cut a little here and there, about abandoning my siblings, I know they will understand when they are older. I'm ok. And I love them nonetheless. I've been here about 2 months now, and am in a state of disorder, I miss my family, to an extent, which is inevetable. Otherwise fine. Thanks for letting me share my story, this has been a great release. |
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Unanswered Thread: What to do?! posted by Jeanine 5 hours ago |
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