Thread Topic: Welcome to the Borderline Forum
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Sunsets Sorrow
Joined: Jun 26, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-26 22:59:56 |
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I took the disorder test and it said I had high probability for Schizoid, Schizotypal, Avoidant, and Dependent. I got very high for Borderline and they symtoms seem to fit pretty well, execpt for drug abuse... unless you count having an obsession with burning things. Anyways, I've felt like something was wrong with me all my life, and for the past year it's just been getting worse. Over last summer I was convinced I was insane, during the begining of the school year most of the friends I had stopped talking to me (but I have new, nicer, less b----y friends I like better now), and somewhere between new years and easter I started scratching myself. Now it's becoming cutting and I feel like nothing has a point anymore. The only friend I talked to about this didn't seem to even care. I feel like no one cares about me and I have no one to talk to about this thing that seems like it's tearing my life apart. The worse part is, I'm only thirteen (as of may) and I want to die. |
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Unanswered Thread: Nuclear Apocalypse posted by Gumba Gumba 6 hours ago |
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Sunsets Sorrow
Joined: Jun 26, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-26 23:37:32 |
| Oh, and I feel like I'm destined for an asylum. I've tried to talk about it with some of my best friends, but I never seem to get the point across. I fell like no one cares enough to ask if I'm alright. And I looked at all the post of people who actual have a reason to be upset or sad, when I've had nothing horrible happen in my life. So it makes me think even more that something is seriously wrong with me.... T-T | |
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weeza29745
Joined: May 17, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-06-27 04:53:39 |
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DyingToBeNormal: Maybe you could find a free clinic? YOU ARE WORTH IT. I don't want you to ever think that you are not. Whether we believe it or not, we are worth it, we are worth getting help. I wish you luck, just don't you ever give up because nothing in life worth having comes free. You have to seek it out. Sunsets Sorrow: Your friends have probably not experienced any part of what you're going through, so they know nothing of your pain, they don't know the levels of it and don't understand. Or, they want to help, but they don't know how... Try talking to a parent or a counselor... Some trusted adult that can get you help. Nothing will ever change if you don't change it yourself. Take care, all of you, and don't give up. |
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zimy
Joined: Jul 1, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-01 20:03:42 |
| What.. i had no idea that running on impulse power had anything to do with me hateing every thing i do i mena it sounds stupid when i say it but humm | |
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Sogwili
Joined: Jul 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-03 14:00:59 |
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Hi, Im new to the site. Just reading over some of the topics and discussions. I suffer with bpd/ptsd. Found this site, while being suckered into taking a bpd test lol :) Says Im really messed up :( Anyways hello everyone... |
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Sogwili
Joined: Jul 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-09 05:25:44 |
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Hi everyone My name is Lei Lei and I am new to this forum but thankful I found it. I suffer with BPD/C-PTSD and was diagnosed 7 years ago. I really enjoyed reading all these posts, very interesting discriptions and an awesome way 2 release. Yesterday I seen a new therapist and she doesn't think that I have BPD but more MPD, which has completely rocked my world has me over over analyze mode and at the point of ... just keep piling on how truly screwed up I am. This disease has ruined my family, my friends and any other form of relation I try to have be it personal or work related. I finally accepted that we are a very misunderstood bunch and I will more then likely be a lone for the rest of my life, which is okay by me, as I prefer it that way. What makes me sad the most, is my children and the lack of closeness I have with them due to mental defect. I am always thinking how much my disease has screwed up thier lives and worry for thier future. I wish at times the ones that caused all this trauma for me and my childhood where riddled with these chaotic thoughts, violent outburts and vile language... I guess it shows what an unjust and lack of humour the Great Creator has... |
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tanya1
Joined: Jul 14, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-14 14:30:07 |
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So I'm new to this Borderline thing and to be honest I'm kinda scared right now cause I don't know what to do. First, let me tell you all about me. I'm 23 and I have a 2 and a half year old daughter. I just lost my job a week ago. I was there for a 1 year and 4 months. My borderline started in Aug when I had my first grand mol seizure. My seizure's are non epileptic. I guess I stress myself out so much I start having a seizure. LOL! Sorry it's kinda funny to me cause I used to laugh at my mom when I was young when she would get stressed. Karma is a B***h I tell you. Well I ranked Very High on all but 3. My mother was a very good mother although she kept us children around an emotionally and physically abusive father for 19 years. Yup she stayed married to that as* for 19 years while he beat her and us kids as well. She finally wised up and left his as*. It seems to me like I'm the only one that is suffering so much from all the abuse though. My older sister has her head on straight and my younger brother is getting married and lives on a farm breading dogs. Why am I the only one that got the s---y end? I'm really lost and empty right now and I don't know what to do but I know that I need to stay strong for my daughter but I'm falling in an never ending black hole. Someone anyone I need some advice. Thanks, Tanya1 |
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brodiefern
Joined: Jul 26, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-26 02:52:56 |
| i think i have bdp, i've hurt people i love so much. i didn't mean too... i've hurt them with my stupid behaviour nothing i do makes sense, i'm such a f--- up and such a monster of a person. How do i fix things??? they will prob never speak to me again... i need help but i dont know where to start... help please i'm so over being like this | |
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angeleyes
Joined: Jul 30, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-30 14:18:01 |
| i need a light at the end of the tunnel | |
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crazygirl
Joined: Aug 1, '09
Status: New User |
2009-08-01 07:01:50 |
| I'm not sure if I have borderline or not. I've been severely depressed my whole life and it just gets worse and some of the borderline symptoms fit with me so now I'm not sure. | |
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ashjam
Joined: Aug 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-08-03 20:13:53 |
| i scored quite high in avoidant and other areas!! had my shares of bad times had 2 suicide attempts over the years drug and alcohol problems and feeling like im not good at anything have anger problems i just snap very easily recently had thoughts of killing someone or two but lucky for me feeling has passed im in an alcohol and drug programme at the mo to monitor my substance abuse also had gambling eating and exercise disorders as well as meth(kicked that one few years ago!!)all i know is that black hole is a terrifying place to be and ive been there few times guess my time to go is not now! | |
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lynsey04
Joined: Aug 9, '09
Status: New User |
2009-08-09 10:54:46 |
| ive just been diagnosed with borderline personality dissorder,ive had deppression for 7 years,on 60mg prozac aswell as diazipam ect,im only 18,i was secioned under sectoin 4 but luckily i was discharged as the doctors didnt think i was that bad,ive always been to negitive about my self and my life,the only thing that gives me hope is my little boy. | |
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lynsey04
Joined: Aug 9, '09
Status: New User |
2009-08-09 10:55:24 |
| ive just been diagnosed with borderline personality dissorder,ive had deppression for 7 years,on 60mg prozac aswell as diazipam ect,im only 18,i was secioned under sectoin 4 but luckily i was discharged as the doctors didnt think i was that bad,ive always been to negitive about my self and my life,the only thing that gives me hope is my little boy. | |
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marsha
Joined: Aug 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-08-10 08:39:46 |
| i did not need a chart to tell me as i was told by a consulant iv had it for years now but my heroin habit is geting alot worse | |
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wadesa
Joined: Jul 24, '09
Status: New User |
2009-08-12 15:08:12 |
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DyingToBeNormal: I relate to you so much… when I was younger I was overly sexual around everyone, seemingly promiscuous.. then I met a guy I would date for 5 years. He stuck by me through everything. My anorexia, my getting fat afterwards, mood swings, cheating, drinking problem the list goes on. I was sabotaging our relationship.. I knew I was doing it but there was almost nothing I could do to stop it. I just disconnected, my mother always said I was extremely cold because I am so good at detaching myself from feeling. We would have huge fights, same as with the 5year guy… and I would leave him or cheat on him ( I was constantly looking for attention or approval from men). Not because I was ready to, I would always come back but it has always been easiest for me to just turn everything off. I left for a year, and in that year I became promiscuous and completely dependant on alcohol. I would call him in tears because I want to end it all, even when I cheated he would always take me back, I had a man who went through hell for me. I wore him down and his self esteem is completely shot, he has a drug and drinking problem now and I hate myself everyday for the way I treated him, I feel like what I have done or how I have affected him cannot be fixed. I miss the old him and I pray everyday that I could get him back. I hope this never happens to you. Not only am I BDP but I am extremely dependant. I clung to him because my dad didn’t want me. When I was 3 or 4 my mom and I moved away as I was leaving I expected some display of emotion, tears/anger from my father, he felt nothing. Just like I feel nothing, quite often. During my promiscuous and alcoholic phase I was raped, in my own home because I don’t know why or really how, luckily I have blacked it out but I know it wasn’t... my hair was ripped out in the doorway when I came to I had bruises on my legs. Since then I have panic attacks, I worry constantly, I have nightmares all the time of doors in my home unlocking themselves. I looked it up on a dream site it said im scared the walls ive put up are being intruded upon. I have no where to hide, even in my sleep. I am curious about the Ibogaine, but too scared what it would bring up. I have trouble sleeping. I had an abortion this year, it haunts my dreams too. I completely snapped, had a mental break it was an out of body experience i saw my self rocking back and forth not even sure what i was saying, my friend looked at me like I should be institutionalized. I switch from caring extremely about everything, an anxiousness, a longing to make everything right… to shut off & I don’t give a s--- all the time. I need counseling, I cant afford not to, but I literally cant afford it. I am going to look into a free clinic.. thank you for sharing your story.. I hope that your husband will take you seriously and go with you to counseling.. I would be heartbroken to hear that after all you have been through together, it would end when there is a solution or help in sight… believe me Im still heartbroken and its been years, it’s a hurt that doesn’t heal.. :/ well atleast not for now, not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. |
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Unanswered Thread: Gumba da big dada posted by Gumba Gumba 6 hours ago |
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