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CrazyGuy
Joined: Oct 13, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 08:27:02 |
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Ok so i tried acid on fri night and while i was on acid i took two ecstasy pills. I was feeling good for a while and then the body high became too intense, i was laying down and my heart felt like it was going to explode, then i started thinking about suicide and it kept repeating over and over in my mind, i didnt want to end up killing myself the next day so i did what my friend told me to in case i started to have a bad trip and started to repeat "i am on drugs and i am ok" after half an hour i finally felt it lift. Then right after that i felt it come back as an entity, in my mind suicide had a body and was chasing me, i ran and was fighting with it and at some point i turned around and shot it in the face and buried it in the middle of the floor of the room that i was in at the time. After that i kept thinking about it, i killed suicide itself. It may seem like a good thing because its suicide but the thing is my mind is in a loop, i cant get it out of my head. I keep thinking "i killed suicide" over and over for the last two days. Im going insane. I feel like at any moment itll come back to life and get me. i couldnt even go near the room that it happened in without feeling extreme anxiety. So does anybody have any words of advice at all? |
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Unanswered Thread: So many (bad) emotions posted by FadingLights 8 minutes ago |
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Fatality
Joined: Jul 14, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-02 08:38:00 |
| I think you need to see someone. I can't say i've had the same thoughts as you, but i have similar thoughts in the same aspect, where they haunt you and don't leave you alone, from different reasons, but nesame results. Until the time you see someone, find something that can/will block it out, and focus on that. Also avoid taking the drugs, as you now know they can rly f--- up your mind. This may not help you much, but i rly hope it does. | |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 08:38:04 |
| The acid obviously was wking for you! Were you feeling bad before you took it or feeling depressed. Sometimes that can cause it. Just wanna say though well done for not committing suicide.xx It must have been a horrible experience and normal to feel anxious to go back into that room. Maybe you should force yourself and confront your fear of going back in by saying i didn't kill myself i was listening to the drugs. I did this by myself. Say it aloud. Sorry if i'm talking crap!! Try not to take it with other drugs especially. I smoked weed on wekend and i reacted bad to that. cugn stop shaking and heart pounding but like you i just thought this is the drug doing this. But i can still remember what it felt like. Good luck hun.xx | |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 08:38:35 |
| when i said was i meant wasn't lol! | |
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CrazyGuy
Joined: Oct 13, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 08:43:05 |
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Dont worry i didnt take it the wrong way, and i think i will see someone. I was feeling good when i took it, i only had the bad thoughts about 2 hours before the end of my trip. Im not going back into that room, ever. The drugs didnt make me think of suicide they only amplified my feelings, ive been thinking about it for a long time, probably since i was 7-8. |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 08:50:27 |
| ohhhh u poor thing. You do really need to speak to someone about this. Sounds quite heavy. Are you seeing a psychiatrist or anyone at the mo. If not a GP. hope you are ok now. Not suprised the drug spplified your thoughts as thats what they can do and thats why wen you were coming down, this was applified more.xx | |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 08:54:28 |
| Yeah Don't do the drugs if you know it'll bring it again .. or try some other thing to make you feel happy. Definitely see a professional if this continues, sounds dangerous. I'm so glad you were strong enough to fight it off but if you let this happen to you again and again eventually it'll get to you | |
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CrazyGuy
Joined: Oct 13, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 08:56:18 |
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No im not seeing a psychiatrist, ive wanted to for a long time but i havent been able to work up the courage. Mentally im in a strange place, it just keeps coming back and i cant get away from it. |
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Fatality
Joined: Jul 14, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-02 08:59:15 |
| Don't let the thoughts win, you're strong, it may be hard to stop them breaking your barriers down, but we all have faith in you. | |
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CrazyGuy
Joined: Oct 13, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 09:05:25 |
| Im not letting them win but i definitely need to talk to someone, i think i might tell my parent about it. | |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 09:09:14 |
| good for you. Thats amazing courage to start of with.xx | |
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CrazyGuy
Joined: Oct 13, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 09:13:58 |
| Well my parents are usually very supportive. i just hope they dont kick me out of my house | |
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Synapse
Joined: Oct 24, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 09:14:12 |
| do ketamine instead, acid makes you trip balls | |
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CrazyGuy
Joined: Oct 13, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 09:15:36 |
| I know it makes you trip balls. Im not doing any more hallucinagens. | |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-02 09:19:51 |
| hey no they shouldn't throw you out. If they do then they can't be supportive. They then can help you with your problem and maybe get you the help you need. Good luck.xx | |
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Unanswered Thread: What to do?! posted by Jeanine 5 hours ago |
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