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CrazyGuy
Joined: Oct 13, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-05 09:16:30 |
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Im posting my long terms problems, stuff that has affected me my whole life only one other person knows about, it's gonna be a wall-o-text. Ok so since i was born ive never met my dad, my mom had me and he was around and talked to my mom but never came to see me, my mom moved to texas for 2 years and i never saw him, i cried at night for a long time between the ages of 7-15 and now i dont cry but sometimes lay up all night thinking about it. My grandpa is a twisted guy, he molested my aunt and is very manipulative and has done many other things that make him a sick f---. The problem is i see myself moving in the say direction he did. I dont know if it is just genes that i got from him or what but i have traits that are just like him that i worry that ill be like him. What worries me most is that i dont have a relationship with him yet im still like him so if i have a child will it carry on the sociopath? Another thing is that ive had incest with my cousin. It happened a few years ago and i regret it everyday of my life. It didnt just one day happen though, ive had another cousin 5 years old than me "teach" me what sex was when i was 6. And when i was 5-8 random sexual things happened to me that i dont feel comfortable talking about. Those are the big problems that come to my head right now, i just wanted to get them off my chest. |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 13 days ago |
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CrazyGuy
Joined: Oct 13, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-05 09:17:11 |
| O and post your problems too, i wanna hear about everyone else to make sure im not the only f---ed up one. | |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-05 09:25:14 |
| Lol no way I'm posting my petty problems after what you said ... | |
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Delirius
Joined: Nov 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-05 09:28:13 |
| No problem is petty | |
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Fatality
Joined: Jul 14, '09
Status: Senior User |
2009-11-05 09:28:27 |
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Ok short and sweet, in time order. Abused as child, mentally and phyiscally, self-harmed before i knew what it was (suffocation, so i would pass out), and was depressed before i knew what it meant. I was 5 maybe 6 then, i'm almost 17 now. I never had any real friends until now, and i'm real thankful i met her :) As for now, still battling depression, and the voice in my head, which seems so against me doing anything happy/enjoyable, tries to get me to think people i know are backstabbing me, yet disapproves of my thoughts of suicide. Today, just rly pissed off in general. |
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Delirius
Joined: Nov 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-05 09:31:12 |
| Feels good to get it out right? | |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-05 09:39:47 |
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Okay here are my petty problems, in time order also. not short and sweet though lol. I was always shy, couldn't talk to strangers until maybe 15. Moved around a lot, in Korea I attended at least 3 different elementary schools (I only remember 3) Around 3rd grade, I moved to USA. Even here I moved a lot, four diff elementary schools before we settled down 4th grade was when I first got a counselor recommendation lol. My mom got mad. She always got mad at me a lot .. once I got sick at school with a really strong fever so school nurse called my mom to take me home, and my mom got mad at me. Another time, I gave away mittens that she had found in the lost and found, and she yelled at me for hours and made me kneel and ask forgiveness LOL sounds really funny now that I write it down. Mostly I remember my mom trying to control me all the time, like what I was doing when where. I never got beaten, only punished sometimes, like I had to stand with my arms holding something up. The only time I actually got bruises was when my dad hit my hands for being rude to the English teacher. They stopped punishing me around maybe 7th grade. Even then I was pretty much a loner and felt it, I had "friends" but no real friends if you know what I mean. 8th grade I discovered the joy of the Internet and started "rebelling" so to say. This is when my mom began to get really angry and have her violent bursts, also when I started being super depressed, think this was when I started cutting. I started by digging my nails into my skin, rub it over and over again til it was raw. Then I used a mechanical pencil to make small rips in my skin, then by 9th I graduated to actual cutting with blades. Lol then until now it's been pretty much the same, conflict with my mom and feelin sad and alone and sleeping my grades away in my room. Lol that was a lot longer than I meant it to be ... yay, now you know how spoiled and petty I am :D |
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Delirius
Joined: Nov 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-05 09:42:10 |
| That doesnt sound spoiled and petty to me... | |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-05 09:44:22 |
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good thread crazy guy and well done for the courage to put that on and tell us that. You will never be like your grandad you can change yourself around ina positive way. I'ts only you who can do it. well my experiences are froma young age hearing alot of violent arguments and mental abuse also. From the age of 4 i was talking to people who were not there. At 11 i heard someone keep calling my name. Then it stopped . Always waiting for the next argument though. At 13 i first tried ti cut myself remember it soooo vividly. thwn the voices came full on saying i was an evil person and its all my fault. I use to make myself sick as i thought i was getting all the bad out of me. This happened for ages then at 18 i went to uni.went on placement to spain then 2 years later i was raped. voices became worse and i was seeing things that weren't there. Paronia been in mental hospitals in wales, england and spain. was horrible something i don't want to go to again. Now i'm 26 kind of have my good days and bad days but more extrme to others. But hey im still here and surviving yayayayayay! lot more has happened but won't explain. ohhhh fireworks going off can hear them outside my window.xx |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-05 09:48:41 |
| guys you have been through a lot.xxx | |
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Delirius
Joined: Nov 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-05 09:49:07 |
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Anyone else? Im gong to add to mine because i thought of more These arent as big but they still affect me a lot, i have a stepdad that has been around since i was 2 and he pretty much is my dad but the thing is we have never had a relationship and he has always just mentally tore me down, his favorite name for me has always been retard even when we arent at home. The worst thing i can remember him doing is picking me up by my throat and holding me against my bunkbed. My mom is really smart but because of her dad and mom she really isnt available for me to tell anything because any time i start to tell her about my problems she just tells me i have nothing to worry about compared to her childhood and how petty my problems are, she always betrays my trusts by telling everyone what i tell her but i cant keep from doing it. Ive spent most of my Junior high and high school in my room because of the fact that ive been grounded for a various number of reason, most of the time it was grades. My senior year i broke out and did whatever the f--- i want and thats when i got heavily into drugs and alcohol. |
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Delirius
Joined: Nov 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-05 09:51:26 |
| That is a very crazy story stephie and im sorry you had to go through that, same for you fatality and fantasy. | |
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Delirius
Joined: Nov 3, '09
Status: New User |
2009-11-05 09:53:31 |
| And i mean crazy in a good way ;D | |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-05 09:54:53 |
| Everyone's story is so tragic (except mine).. I'm so sorry you guys had to go through all that s--- :( | |
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stephie
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-11-05 09:55:11 |
| i don't blame you for going on drugs and chol with all that going on. Just wish you had something else to focus on. bless u! my mam tells everyone my problems too. is soooo annoying! she says she doesn't but when she is drunk she just blurts it out toanyone. I've been more of a parent to her.xx | |
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Unanswered Thread: OCD Bracelet Fund Raiser posted by vbaz 34 days ago |
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