Thread Topic: Welcome to our Dependent Forum
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fairy
Joined: May 29, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-29 06:02:04 |
| i didnt realise it was a disorder. I jus thought it was human nature guess i was wrong | |
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Southern
Joined: May 30, '09
Status: New User |
2009-05-30 18:09:25 |
| No, Fairy, You are not wrong, we simply take it to extemes. Being southern born,I was taught dependency from the crib. The side effects hit awhile back-PAIN. I have been in co-dependence anonymous for sometime now and have core values and boundries that others are not allowed to tread upon. My progress gives me freedom. I am still working toward my goals, the people in my life respect me, because I've learned to repect myself. Look up CODA on line and find a meeting, it's free and I have found it more helpful and fun than therapy. Great Luck | |
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maya
Joined: Jun 8, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-08 17:04:12 |
| I believe i have DPD.When i was kid i was abused verbally and physically from my parents. I wanted very badly to be with somebody else not from the family.In my young age i hated them. Later i was ok with them like i was busy with raising kids and i easily forget things.Now i am 45 and started to see things different.I feel my parents do not respect me. I started to feel very upset from every little things. I am not able to sleep well and when interact with a person i always thing they try to play games with me and they use me. I wander if you have any suggestion how can i get out of this. thanks | |
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LadyNoah67
Joined: Jun 9, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-09 12:09:48 |
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Hallo Hallo All - Re: Start101 - your son is avoiding work for a number of reasons, but I would be willing to bet, if he's anything like me and the rest of us: He is afraid that if he becomes Independant then you have "permission" to leave him, move away, or grow old, get sick and die. I have recognized this as a chronic illogical whisper in the back of my mind for many years now. When I learn to distinguish this emotional twisty from the truth, I can rise above my emotions and realize the exact opposite is true -- If I remain "High Maintenance" emotionally, spiritually and financially on my loved ones, no less strangers they will either run the other way as quick as possible, will become bitter and worn out, or will get stressed and die prematurely from stress triggered illnesses. |
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shawanibinwc
Joined: Jun 21, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-21 22:14:28 |
| i believe i have a dependent personality disorder. i have never been single for more than a month or two. my whole world shatters when friends dont wanna talk to me, and i just go crazy after break ups. and now i have a girlfriend i love alot, but its like i cant do ne thing with out her, i ask her opinion on everything. and when im alone, i become a depressed mess. i get very emotional and it doesnt take long. if i kno ima be alone for the day, i wake up in a depressed mood. i dont kno whats wrong with me | |
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promise04
Joined: Jun 25, '09
Status: New User |
2009-06-25 15:05:05 |
| I can't make up my mind, don't know what to do with my life, i'm never alone, but i'm afraid of beeing... I want help, but I just... dont like myself | |
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Help29
Joined: Jul 13, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-13 00:45:43 |
| Josh, I relate to you. I do quite a few favours because I never can say no. I also get stepped on alot because I am always trying to get people to like me therefore I don't stand up for myself much. I really want to be able to develope my own self and let others know I am no longer their doormat. Is there anyone that can give advise as how to start doing this??? Thanks. | |
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ms28
Joined: Jul 17, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-17 22:25:59 |
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I have just completed the test and I believe i have DPD. the reason i took the test was because i been told by my partners and friends that i emotionally always dependent on women. To such point that i push them away from me by being insecure and keep questioning them. I keep fear of losing my partner and feel helpless and depressed and difficult to understand them i am sensetive to hurt by mild criticism or disapproval. The situation is quite effecting my love life and I am in verge of giving up . It has cost me a lot of relationship. What is the solution to my problem ? |
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alice
Joined: Jul 19, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-19 06:40:36 |
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Hi all! I've noticed that I do get taken advantage of financially - though not on a bit scale, as I've never had much money anyway. I'm not sure that "friends" treat me especially well generally. I find I'm stuck in my present position. I find working very difficult - I don't seem to be able to stand-up for myself and get unreasonable demands placed on me. That stresses me, and I get oddly exhausted - like needing to go to bed at 7 or 8 pm! So now I've lost the job and career I'd worked for and can't find my way back with that. I'm trying assertiveness, but it's so unnatural to me and depresses me to realise what I've been putting up with. I'm sure I'll get better at it, but I'm just so passive. |
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inmichigan
Joined: Jul 26, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-26 07:03:53 |
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It's nice to see a forum broken down by topic like this. I was suprised to see it started this year. I found it through searching "borderline personality disorder test". I want to have my husband take it because he is clearly BPD. Emotionally abused and neglected as a child, stuck in high-school values and behaviors, mean and controlling, exposed to sex (part of the neglect) at a very young age. But I took the test and found I tested VH in the dependent section which is probably why I stay. I have some of the BPD characteristics too but am not fully BPD per my last therapist. I just have demons to conquer, particalurly attacking back after supressing my feelings for weeks and months in a row. (Guess the nonBPDs call this the Snowball effect.) I very much want someone to take care of me. I wasn't like this before I was hit with a chronic illness that affected my physical health. Before this happened, I was very independent. Because it happened during the birth of my first child (late in life, c-section,) the combination of taking care of small, myself and a man -- all while in agonizing physical pain -- was too much to bear (he was BPD too -- because my mom was BPD, I seem to be attracted to these men.) Even though I want to be supported, I am pursuing a degree in the hope that maybe I can find a way to get some of my self-esteem back. My physical health gets better -- instead of worse -- each year, and being Married has given me health insurance with pain killers that control the pain quite well. My husband keeps putting me down, so I struggle with classes, with procrastination, and now even with grades. Everything came easily when I was young. I was very smart. But since the mini-stroke (during c-section), I am not quick like I used to be. I have to study very hard. And it's hard to do with someing saying (perhaps wanting?) you to fail. But I cannot blame him 100%. Only 50%. I don't value myself enough to stand up for myself when he says these things. Getting a notice that I was on the Deans List freaked me out. I dropped two classes and perhaps failed a third. I don't dare even look -- because I'll have to pay out of pocket to take those classes again. My dad has money and can take care of me. Isn't this a sick way to think? I'm 42. |
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Hopeful
Joined: Aug 4, '09
Status: New User |
2009-08-04 00:54:24 |
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Hello, I am 14, a lesbian, and in love with my best friend. I've taken this test twice and got very high, both times. I spent hours looking it up, and im almost certain that i have it. But... I actually like being the way i am. I love being submissive, bossed around, vulnerable, powerless, weak, a push over, etc... all to the one i love - my best friend. Being like this doesnt usually fill me with pain, only yearning for being like my best friends servant. She can get me to do anything she wants, shes got me wrapped around her little finger. I enjoy being like this, but i dont think its healthy... I feel like if we ever lose our friendships, i would die inside. I need her, I crave her, I love her! |
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tishtash
Joined: Aug 8, '09
Status: New User |
2009-08-08 12:58:30 |
| i have just found out by a top phycriatrist that i have dependant personality disorder can any one give me any advice or help on this matter ? | |
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