Thread Topic: Dependent Disorder
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fubar
Joined: Sep 10, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-10 12:17:02 |
| So in a fight my boyfriend recently (who's very hardworking, etc) told me I had a personality disorder which he may or may not actually think. Last year I took a test administered by his job, the gov't, to analyze my personality. (They give it out to employees in different programs.) I was shocked to find that I was not one of the 4 categories of personality types, but 2. This planted a seed in my mind as to whether or not I should've scored an equal number in TWO categories but after he said I had a disorder it made me come to this site. My problems are as follows: he invites me out all the time w/ coworkers (who usually end up talking about work, or gov't processes, or politics) which I know nothing about so it's extremely boring and I never go. I always find a way to get out of it. OR I feel excited at first, but the closer it gets to the time of meeting up with them the more nervous I get. I'm freaked out that they will think I'm a weirdo and never want to talk to me. I have this fear that I'll be really awkward and weird everyone out. Add onto that they're all young (or old) money-banking professionals who I definitely don't feel I fit in with. In addition to this problem I also feel goal-less. I finally graduated from college and have always been endowed with a couple talents but nothing that can grant me a lot of money in the real world. All throughout college I lived on loans and family handouts. Now I'm stuck with the choice of profession and I haven't worked in almost two years bc I don't know what to do, and I'm too scared of failing at something I would remotely enjoy to actually get a job. This disorder, or way of thinking that I have is paralyzing...mostly because I am aware that I think this way and I don't want to. What sucks for me is I only know one or two people who could relate to me and both of them are under-performing, low-paid, anti-socialites. Maybe they too have this disorder? I feel that if I were to talk to anyone else about this (my boyfriend included) they would think I was crazy and look at me like I'm retarded. Which in some cases I feel I am. WTF is wrong w/ me? I don't know what to do. I can't keep going on not working. I HAVE to make money somehow I'm going broke! I read that people with this disorder generally undershoot positions when they apply to jobs. I'm trying not to do that. But even the application process is difficult I can't imagine getting over how nervous I'll be during an interview. I'm so pissed about thinking this way, I don't have $$ for a shrink or meds, so what do I do? Wash dishes until I save up enough to consult a professional? Then how much time do I waste washing freaking dishes? How will this disorder influence my life? Am I doomed to latching on to people forever? | |
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Unanswered Thread: my test results posted by lightweaver 10 hours ago |
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fantasy
Joined: Jul 28, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-09-10 18:16:23 |
| No you are not doomed, you are NEVER doomed. Don't give up, because there's always a way out! Don't lose hope! I'm not even out of high school yet so I have no idea about the $$ problem, but I have felt overwhelmed before and you seem VERY overwhelmed right now, just go through things one at a time and don't panic, don't be afraid to fail at something, most people fail at everything anyway except the one thing they're good at. You just have to find out what you're good at. And being nervous and insecure for a job interview is normal, just breathe and do your best, and if you don't succeed, it's not like you're condemned. I know everything I said seems so cliche but what I'm just trying to say is that it isn't the final end when you make mistakes or fail. Nothing is wrong with you, a lot of people go through various problems of their own, some have a harder time than others. You're not alone, and you'll eventually get through your problems. So please don't give up on yourself! you are NOT doomed ! | |
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Alaycat
Joined: Oct 5, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-05 23:15:33 |
| i feel like this all the time, it's almost like I know i am capable but I just panic or soemthing and my arms go numb and I feel sick. I wish it wouldn't happen because Im sick and tired of being sicka nd tired, I just wanna move on but I dont know how. | |
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Unanswered Thread: Nothing wrong with paranoia. posted by IntroduckToni 2 days ago |
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