Thread Topic: Welcome to the Depression Forum
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disorderguy
Joined: May 5, '09
Status: Admin |
2009-05-05 07:10:40 |
| Depression is the most common of all psychological illnesses. Every year it robs millions of their happiness and motivation. Please feel free to talk openly about this topic and share your own experiences. | |
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Unanswered Thread: Nothing wrong with paranoia. posted by IntroduckToni 1 day ago |
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disorderguy
Joined: May 5, '09
Status: Admin |
2009-06-08 20:34:24 |
| This board is not so popular, huh? | |
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Wingfish
Joined: Jul 1, '09
Status: New User |
2009-07-05 07:31:20 |
| Nope... | |
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Scoutabout
Joined: Jan 14, '10
Status: Junior User |
2010-01-25 21:23:49 |
| What can make a person depressed? Everything and nothing. There doesn't have to be any trigger at all. Depression just is - it does not have to be connected to anything specific. This is what so many who do not have the ILLNESS do not understand. It is not like being depressed in the sense that you've lost someone through divorce, or death, for example. Nothing in particular has to happen. Depression just is. It's like you're at the bottom of a black pool, trying to get to the air and sunshine you can see through the murky water above. But you're held down by the weight of the water. People above are in the sunshine and the air, and they are enjoying it, but you can't. Not even if you make yourself try. | |
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Scoutabout
Joined: Jan 14, '10
Status: Junior User |
2010-01-25 21:27:16 |
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Sometimes I will be at an event - like a birthday party. It's supposed to be a happy event - only I can't feel the happiness. I can see that others are happy, but I can't feel that happiness myself. I have a frozen mask on - frozen into a smile I cannot feel. I want to feel the happiness, but I can't. |
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Scoutabout
Joined: Jan 14, '10
Status: Junior User |
2010-01-25 22:08:19 |
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I remember when I was younger. I'd be under that black pool of water. I'd struggle and struggle to break through it. I wanted to join in the laughter and be with others. But there was always somebody there to shove my head back under. It would be sudden and shocking and I would be unprepared. Finally I just quit trying. Now I don't feel anything. I feel like I have something in common with the Antisocial P.D. person. They can't feel empathy. I can't feel happiness. |
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Hip
Joined: Aug 10, '09
Status: Senior User |
2010-01-26 04:30:53 |
| So that's the cause of your "holier than thou" bulls---! I wonder if all people of your faith grew up like you? Sounds pretty likely. | |
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Scoutabout
Joined: Jan 14, '10
Status: Junior User |
2010-01-26 13:41:30 |
| Hip - All people of all cultures, beliefs, etc. suffer in all sorts of ways. One has nothing to do with the other. We're all human beings - I'm no more "holier than thou" - you. I'm just a human being with my own struggles who is still capable of making choices such as what religion I want to believe in. What puzzles me about you is the hostility you feel towards me - I don't bear any towards you. | |
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erinro
Joined: Nov 13, '09
Status: Senior User |
2010-01-26 14:09:33 |
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Hip, this is starting to get pretty monothematic. Why don't you aim for some variety - different topic, different person...? I have faith in your imagination. Scoutabout, I have felt that exact same way. And feel it in general whenever I go out with friends, at school, with my bf, and now at my shrink's office as well because she keeps harping at me to 'free associate'! 'Play!'. Which makes it even harder to (kind of like she's wringing my neck yelling 'trust me'!). Basically the only place i feel safe enough to have fun is on here (because it doesn't matter, i guess; the only thing that bugs me on here are the AS(S)es who persecute people) - in general I would like to have fun but can't because I don't feel safe, am too busy looking out for that person who is going to push my head back under, as you aptly put it. that person being ultimately a part of ME that I cannot recognize (my own aggression), so I displace it onto other people, expect aggression from them, and provoke it by attributing it to them (self-fulfilling prophecy). Thanks for sharing your experiences, by the way. As for hostility, I don't know about you but I think that a part of my problem is that I can't face my own hostility. Am learning to. Perhaps you should too... A nice hearty 'f--- off' can be so satisfying. And effective! Though perhaps unChristian, Christ was crucified and I don't intend to be. I didn't learn how to defend myself as a child because doing so unleashed an abusive response. Now I'm learning. Anger is not evil IMO, it's human. If you don't let yourself feel it, you get depressed. Or at least, that's my feeling. What's yours? |
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Scoutabout
Joined: Jan 14, '10
Status: Junior User |
2010-01-28 19:05:19 |
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erinro - There's some truth in what you say. I do feel anger - like anyone else. I just don't want to direct anger pointlessly or at innocent people. In Hip's case, I just don't see the point in him being angry at me, or me at him. He's just someone who thinks different than me, and I can deal with it. Hip, why can't you deal with people who think different from you? Why does it make you so angry? I identify, erinro, with your description of yourself as a child. In my case, I grew up in a very authoritarian home. I, too, was afraid to express myself for fear of getting whacked with something. Part of why I think I keep my anger in is truly because I know how anger directed at me feels, and it isn't a good feeling. I will not even get angry at Hip, because, rightly or wrongly, I am just plain afraid to hurt anyone else. I don't want to hurt anyone - even at the expense of myself. I guess I'd rather be depressed than hurt anyone else. Is that hard for you to understand, Hip? |
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Unanswered Thread: My results posted by lucky13 2 days ago |
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