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cosmo
Joined: Sep 24, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-24 15:21:17 |
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This is what I am questioning. My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years on again/off again. He has told me before that I have NPD. He also has told me of other disorders that he believes I have. Currently, we are broke up but speaking every day to one another. We have a pattern of breaking up an getting back together anywhere from one week to 2 months. I just feel like I am crazy. I feel that I have to be perfect around him or he will leave me. I begin to trust him and, then I end up doing something to sabotage things. He tells me he won't commit to me because, I have "issues" that I haven't dealt with and that he has already worked through his issues. Around friends, he has to be the center of attention. I feel very special when we first get back together. He sends love letters and treats me so lovingly but, it seems like he just ignores me after awhile. I feel dependent on him now, emotionally. I feel that he is superior to me. And, I can see the true him every now and then and, it makes me so sad that it rarely comes out. He was vulnerable with me after a two hour argument a week ago. He actually cried and let me be there for him. That's what I'm looking for. But, he has this strong image that he puts out to me and everyone. I hope this isn't too scattered. I'm just not sure of myself. Like I said, I think I'm crazy and, he's spoken of my "issues" I need to work on and, part of me believes him and part of me thinks it isn't ALL me. Or is it? |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 13 days ago |
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Dime
Joined: Sep 23, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-24 18:46:06 |
| So has your boyfriend got some kind of qualification that means he can diagnose you? Hmmm? Somehow I doubt it. Sounds to me like he does everthing he can to make you feel inferior when in reality you're probably the stronger, more balanced. I honestly don't think it's you at all and that he's just messing with you're emotions. 12 years is a LONG time to get nowhere - maybe it's time for a change to someone who'll make you the centre of their world and will adore your so-called 'imperfections' and not care about taking centre stage for themselves as long as they've got you! | |
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Dime
Joined: Sep 23, '09
Status: New User |
2009-09-24 18:47:20 |
| So has your boyfriend got some kind of qualification that means he can diagnose you? Hmmm? Somehow I doubt it. Sounds to me like he does everthing he can to make you feel inferior when in reality you're probably the stronger, more balanced. I honestly don't think it's you at all and that he's just messing with you're emotions. 12 years is a LONG time to get nowhere - maybe it's time for a change to someone who'll make you the centre of their world and will adore your so-called 'imperfections' and not care about taking centre stage for themselves as long as they've got you! | |
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foreverhopeful
Joined: Oct 7, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-07 12:28:35 |
| hi your bf sounds just like mine. we have exactly the same patterns as you have! he constantly told me that i was weird, or had something not quite right. i began to actually believe him. my friends assured me i was fine, he caused the probs and i was just reacting to them in a normal way, just as anyone else would! i got so depressed and ill as had to take blame for everything, it was his way or no way.i asked my gp to refer me to a psychologist as i thought i was mad. after we spoke she actually said "there is nothing wrong with you, your partner has a personality disorder" thats when she mentioned npd. i had never herd of it! she couldnt just make a formal diagnosis without seeing him but she showed me the criteria and explained how it effects me as well as him. that was 2 years ago. im still kinda with him but i have managed not to react to him anymore.have you tried any of the e books about making it better? most of them point to leaving them | |
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whoknows
Joined: Oct 15, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-15 19:14:18 |
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he sounds like a friend i just decided to separate from. very critical, rules that were difficult to follow, suddenly cold--would fall apart when i decided i needed to be away from things. when i came back, was suddenly very loving/understanding, etc. i've been obsessing about whether i have NPD too. sometimes i think i might be a sociopath. everything seemed wrong with me. i also didn't separate from him in the nicest way. i told him he was a drain and a life-force stealer. i feel terrible about that. i have a feeling it's not you. but being around something like that can really make you feel pretty awful about yourself after a while... sometimes i think i'm evil. i think i was led to believe that. i think that may be what's going on with you too. i didn't really think about that until i saw your post. it seems crazy-making to me, the situation. i wish you well. |
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velv
Joined: Oct 17, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-17 17:02:24 |
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hello, ive been with my boyfriend on and off for about a year now. i am so shocked at stumbling across this page as we have spoken about his anger issues before, he doesnt realise the way he treats me, verbally abuses me and pretty much breaks me down to feeling like its all my fault and i am worthless is not an acceptable way to treat someone he supposedly 'loves'. i feel like i cant leave him because he tells me i am his only friend and i bring out the good in him. then when we dissagree about something its the complete oposite and im the physco control freak who does annoying things. he always tells me he wants to see me happy and he has my best interests at heart but really,he seems all he wants is to control me. he wants me to spend time with my friends then when im out msgs me to try and get me to come home because he misses me. sometimes i feel like i cant be good enough for him... i have spoken to older female friends and they have all told me to just leave and its all his fault not mine... does anyone have any suggestions.i want to be there for him and support him. i love him, but i dont want to hurt him. and at the same time i want to be respected and not emotionally destroyed. its so good to hear this is a more common thing and not just our relationship and i guess that im not alone with dealing with someone like this any suggestions you have.. id really love to hear them |
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Unanswered Thread: OCD Bracelet Fund Raiser posted by vbaz 34 days ago |
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