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Desmond
Joined: Oct 26, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-26 21:59:43 |
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I finally realized the above after more than 40 years - now I would like to know exactly what my problem is . I chose this forum because another 1 minute quiz suggested "obsessive compulsive" behavior as well . Here's my results though some of them could have been both answers in a way . Paranoid: Low Schizoid: High Schizotypal: Moderate Antisocial: Low Borderline: Low Histrionic: Moderate Narcissistic: Moderate Avoidant: Low Dependent: Low Obsessive-Compulsive: high yesterday for the first time ever I just relaxed on a day off and I feel very relaxed today after doing so and wondered why I have never been able to do it before . Normally I always have to be doing something . When I am going on a holiday for example I load up my van , decide when I will be leaving and leave earlier - or start to panic when I am running a bit later than planned - even though nobody is expecting me . I head off for my destination , work out how far it is and how long it should take to get there and drive - if I have to make a fuel stop I rush so I can get going again , the tyres may look like they need air but I can't drive over to the pump and check them because already I have taken more time than I calculated and must get going again . I have 10 minutes left to get there according to my calculation and start to drive faster because it looks like I will be a minute longer than that , I drive faster , take chances and rush through the gates of the campsite 30 seconds earlier than I thought it would take feeling like I have just escaped from a lion or something - I look around , everyone is relaxed - I have the whole day left to relax , nobody was expecting me but I just had to get there in the time I allocated myself to do it in . That afternoon I walk up the track to the lookout - I get back , get some sleep and the next day head off in another direction - do everything possible to do in the place and decide that I like it here and wouldn'nt mind actually spending another day here for the first time ever . As I get back to my van from my last walk it is lunchtime and I start thinking that there is nothing else to do so maybe after lunch I should head off in another direction and see if there is another nice spot at another bay .... then I start getting this urge to go and don't even have time to make lunch so I grab some biscuits out of my supplies and pile everything in to the van and drive off looking for something new to do . Last time there was nothing better and I was sorry I never stayed where I was .... but what else would I do ? I had already done everything I could there ! When I am indoors and realize that I need to get something out of my van outside it is a big issue to actually go outside - I hadn't allocated time to do it and "I'll just leave it for when I'm out there doing something else I needed to do " - if I decide that I simply will do it because there's no reason why I can't it's always with a sense of apprehension that I step out that door .... and then as I walk outside I suddenly feel free. On another note I had suffered from migraines and then the occasional nocturnal epileptic fit that I eventually grew out of - I haven't been on medication for a year now . I have also been trying to keep my mouth shut - when I am in company I also always feel the urge to have something to say and sometimes blurt out a quickly made up 'funny' comment that sometimes ends up in them being offended [ except for the people that 'know what I'm like ' and accept me for what I am ]. It's interesting that I always thought i was totally normal but as I type this I feel very 'anxious' inside ..... |
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Unanswered Thread: VRIELLIS PLEASE READ posted by Synapse 13 days ago |
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Synapse
Joined: Oct 24, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-31 10:09:15 |
| not OCD sounds like too much caffeine/energy | |
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Desmond
Joined: Oct 26, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-31 11:24:10 |
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I don't drink coffee ? The thing is , as soon as I decide I am going to do something it becomes an urgent matter and I forget everything else . If I decide I am going somewhere I'll drive past nice scenery even though I want to stop and take a picture - so I can get to my destination quickly - even though nobody is expecting me . When I get home from a tour taking photos I'll rush inside and upload the pictures to a forum - as if it is a matter of urgency and then wonder why I never took the time to process them properly .... but as soon as I walk through those doors at home it's like everyone is expecting me to have them up - even though nobody knows about it . Other people can take a few days and then upload what they have worked on - I must do it as soon as possible . |
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Synapse
Joined: Oct 24, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-31 11:39:51 |
| isnt OCD youre just rushing s--- | |
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Desmond
Joined: Oct 26, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-31 16:51:16 |
| It isn't 'normal' that's for sure . If it isn't ocd what is it ? | |
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Synapse
Joined: Oct 24, '09
Status: Junior User |
2009-10-31 19:58:46 |
| hyperactiveness, hypermania something like that | |
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Desmond
Joined: Oct 26, '09
Status: New User |
2009-10-31 21:53:05 |
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Well anyway this weekend I may have conquered it . I spent the whole weekend ignoring the urge to be early and to just drop everything and go when I decided to go somewhere . I also left the computer switched off when I was at home and got a lot of work done in the garden that I hadn't attended to because of having 'no time' allocated to it . I took a walk around the farm without deciding where I was headed and how long it should take - I simply 'wandered' and I can't believe how calm I feel now . |
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Unanswered Thread: OCD Bracelet Fund Raiser posted by vbaz 34 days ago |
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