I'm confused

eslay Joined: Oct 26, '09 Status: New User	2009-10-26 12:24:15
	I'm not sure if I am Schizotypal. I feel like there's more than one person inside me fighting for ideas. I think one way, but deep down I hate what I just said, and then deeper down I hate hating what I just said. I'm a senior. I feel like I'm coming closer to an edge I can't see past. I keep thinking I'm going to die soon, I have chest pains. Someone I love was taken from me recently and sent to no-contact boarding school. I forced myself to write a totally honest summary of my thoughts yesterday, where I erased nothing. I wrote about compromises I made in my head. I wrote what and where I should have erase: it scared me. If I hadn't been honest I would have erased the whole thing multiple times, but at the same time I feel like I knew what I was writing and just wanted attention. I want help.
Unanswered Thread:    So many (bad) emotions posted by FadingLights 9 minutes ago
eslay Joined: Oct 26, '09 Status: New User	2009-10-26 12:33:13
	I dress rather strangely, things I think look good other people think look retarded. I can't not look what I think is good. I'm worried others will talk about me, I don't like social conversations and or group work in school. I don't play sports. I don't belong to any clubs. For a long time I thought I had been contacted by demons. I'm not crazy. That's what I think. I know it sounds crazy. I don't care what you think. I procrastinate far more than I should. I'm unable to keep up with work I know I can do, simply because I have the feeling I shouldn't do it. I expect more out of others then I should. I should be looking at colleges and doing massive amounts of overdue work at this exact moment but I've tricked myself into thinking I don't need to and in the end everything will work out.
eslay Joined: Oct 26, '09 Status: New User	2009-10-26 12:35:38
	Sometimes I'm racist. It's not my fault. I love two tone ska and I'm not a racist, but sometimes my thoughts just wander. I can't help it. I need to have proper punctuation online. People think of me better that way; even if no one will read this. This is like a nice way to let my feelings out. Thank you.
Unanswered Thread:    What to do?! posted by Jeanine 5 hours ago

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