Little Bill Jokes

I don't know about you but if I hear "four years and forty million dollars" one more time, I'm going to rip off my head and throw it through the TV.
Why don't these people just tattoo "4 & 4" to their foreheads? It would save all of us a lot of trouble.
So what did we get for $40,000,000?

The grandest apology since General Patton. -- I heard the White House even has an apology hot line, 1-900-IMSORRY. Unfortunately, Clinton's lawyers also have a hot line, 1-900-NOHESNOT.

The hottest Independent Counsel report in U.S. history. -- If they tone it down a little, HBO will replace Dennis Miller with it.

More comic material than Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter and Dan Quale put together. -- We've gone from "lusting in my heart" to "beating off in a sink."

A chance for TV networks news to compete with "South Park." -- Even Jerry Springer and Oprah voted against releasing the Starr Report.

137 Letterman top ten lists.

4063 Jay Leno jokes. -- Topping John Carson's record of 4062 for cute zoo animals in the studio.

Put cigars in the news. -- We even got a Castro story in the news this week and when was the last time we heard about him.

Explained to the general public why the White House needs interns.

Cleaned up the gene pool. -- Anyone that tries Clinton's "I didn't have sex" excuse on their spouse will no longer be in the gene pool.

Gave the American public a chance to see what $400 an hour lawyers do for a living ... LIE! -- Like we didn't know that already.

Created a market for Monica Lewinsky Beanie Babies. -- Stained dress optional.

Sold more dictionaries in the last 6 months than the last 6 years. -- I used to think I knew what "sex," "alone," "cause" and "is" meant.

Before Clinton only Woody Allen practiced sex alone.

Took cigars where no cigar has gone before.

"One small cigar for man. One giant cigar for mankind." -- and just the right cigar for Monica.

Made neutered a Constitutional option.

Explained how Spice Girls get pregnant.