The lyrics
just when everything was making sense
you took away all my self-confidence
now all that I've been hearing must be true
I guess I'm not the only boy for you
but that's what I get
that's what I get [3x]
how could you turn us into this?
after you just taught me how to kiss- you
I told you I'd never say goodbye
now I'm slipping on the tears you made me cry
but that's what I get
that's what I get [3x]
why does it come as a surprise
to think that I was so naive
maybe didn't mean so much
but it meant everything to me
but that's what I get
that's what I get [3x]
(Pre 5-12-98)
this song is about the hurt that has been inflicted upon the narrator by a very significant other. due to my current state of mind, i tend to view it from the point of view of the person who betrayed the narrator. i am the person who betrayed the narrator...
"just when everything was making sense you took away all my self-confidence"
everything was fine until i fucked with her head in the wrong way; i couldn't control it, i couldn't help it, i called her something horrible and i'm sorry.
"now all that i've been hearing must be true i guess i'm not the only boy for you"
what i'm hearing must be true- i am an asshole i've done things to her that no one deserves; i can't be the only boy for her because she deserves so much more.
"but that's what i get"
i'm sorry, she must feel that this is what she gets for trusting me one more time...
"how could you turn me into this after you just taught me how to kiss you"
how can i do this to her, destroying what's left of us, especially when we were just getting back to the point where she could kiss me again?
"i told you i'd never say goodbye, but now i'm slipping on the tears you've made me cry"
these were almost her exact words... 'i don't want to leave you, rj, but i just can't take the hurt from you anymore'
but that's what she gets...
"why's it come as a surprise to think that i was so naive"
she must be thinking of how stupid she was to trust me again, to believe that i wouldn't hurt her again.. i didn't mean to, vonnie, i love you i'm sorry but i know i can never make it up to you..
"maybe it didn't mean that much, but it meant everything to me"
she must be thinking that i don't care, that i never cared and that she cared so much... but i'm bleeding right now from the razor's cuts across my chest and i do care, i do i'm sorry, i no i can't make it up to you but i wish i could and now maybe you won't hurt anymore, now maybe i won't be able to hurt anyone anymore, because i don't deserve to live.
i'm sorry
maybe now you'll know where i went
when i spread out my arms and crucified myself
for you